Department politics are still a pain in the ass, even when you have tenure

A couple weeks ago, my department chair (DC) solicited volunteers for a departmental administrative position, as our current person has decided to step down. I volunteered, because I thought it would be a good way to be more involved with that part of the department. The following week, DC sent an email, informing me that another faculty member had also volunteered, and that he would have to meet with both of us and make a decision. As soon as I heard this, I knew that I would not be filling that position. You see, the other volunteer is someone that H and I refer to as the Golden Boy (GB). GB has an affliction that some of us call "social retardation", as in he says insulting, condescending things to people and either doesn't realize it or just doesn't care. H has co-taught with GB and ended up doing most of the work. He is constantly being praised more than seems appropriate, which is why we gave him this nickname. GB isn't one to volunteer for things or go out of his way to help people in the department. I suspect that he did not actually volunteer for this job. I suspect that DC had him in mind all along, and asked him to "volunteer". I threw a wrench in the plan by volunteering myself- I suspect that DC thought nobody would. I met with DC last week and today he called me into his office to tell me that GB was selected. DC assured me that he thought both of us would do a great job, and that he gave it to GB because he didn't want my research to suffer. Should I be insulted? Why is he not worried about GB's research? It's true that I have a grant and connections to other departments for research, etc, but why would I not be able to do that if I took over this position? I thought DC was sincere when he gave me the news, but H still thinks it was all planned and that I never had a shot. I'm not sure what I think. I was kind of relieved at first, because this position would certainly be a lot of work (although it carries a course release- the real reason I think GB wanted it), but now I am not feeling very good about it. Also- this position has never been held by a woman.

P.S. In the process of my interview meeting, DC insulted my personal web page! It's not as professional as it could be, but it's fine. I was planning to update it soon, but now I feel like leaving it alone out of spite! (If you know me on Facebook, there is a link to it- it's the first one).

What a timely topic...

As most of you have probably read by now, there is a lot of talk going around the blogosphere about academic women and children (see the IHE piece, Dean Dad, Dr. Crazy, Mommy/Prof, ScienceWoman, Dr. Free-Ride, & probably more). I commented at Dr. Crazy's, which prompted Mommy/Prof's response and another comment from me, but I really felt that I should add a post of my own, as well.

A lot of us have first-hand experience with being mothers on the tenure track (and/or in grad school), and we all have unique experiences. The sets of circumstances we all face makes it difficult to compare across disciplines and universities. A lot of commenters on these posts have offered suggestions about why women in academia have lower birth rates than our male counterparts and a lot of really interesting discussion has been generated. However, I think it's impossible to generalize, or point to specific reasons, because I think there are a lot of different reasons out there. I often wonder if I would have ever had any children if I hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant during my PhD. It wasn't until getting tenure that I felt I could seriously consider having another one (and that seems even less likely to happen now). I know academic women who do not want children at all and I would imagine that they all have different reasons. In my own department of about 15 faculty, there are two married men without children, too. 

I think that it's important and useful to discuss issues of family and gender-equality in academia without people taking sides about whether academics have a tougher time, or other professions are less family-friendly, or whether children are a life-style choice, or whether personal obligations of other kinds should be viewed in the same light. Mommy/Prof's point about the two-body problem is also extremely relevant to this discussion. 

I'm not sure that I have anything different to add other than my own experiences and struggles. I sit here wondering if I will add to the statistics presented in the IHE story, by stopping at one child. My family has clearly been shaped by my career, but I hope it has not been stifled by it. H and I knew that we were ridiculously lucky to land tenure-track jobs at the same university and were afraid to hinder our research and teaching (before tenure) by having another baby. D was a toddler when we came here- not the independent almost 9-year-old that she is now and it seemed impossible to consider starting over again with another baby. I'm the optimist in the family and think that things would still have turned out fine if we'd had another baby, but obviously things would have been more challenging. I guess it boils down to the same issues regardless of your career and for women it results in making hard choices a lot more often than it does for men*. I don't have any answers about this, but I would be willing to bet that these issues will not be going away any time soon.

*OK, male readers- I know there are enlightened men out there who let their careers take a back seat to their wives', but you are certainly in the minority!

Women, family, & academia

I am feeling compelled to revisit a topic that I have written about before.  But first, let me share some recent blog-reading I've done. I recently sent an (unpublished) response to Rate Your Students regarding this post. Go read it....

Here is my response:

I'm sure you will get plenty of responses to the Sour Leprechaun, but I couldn't resist putting in my own two cents. He has tried to counter most of the typical arguments to his point, but as I read his post, I thought about some of the other similar posts that have told us all to 'quit our whining' because we have the best jobs in the universe. Most of the time, I agree- I love my job and wouldn't want to do anything else (well, most days). However, he has lost sight of the point of this blog- it a place to vent about our students, since they get to vent about us all over the web (MySpace, Facebook, the site that shall rename nameless). Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but I can't recall reading any 'quit your whining' posts that were written by women. They seem to come from tenured, male (I would guess white) faculty, who are never called 'Mrs. Smith' by their students or had their credentials challenged because they are foreign or have dark skin. I would also suspect that the 'quit your whining' crowd are married to women who are not academics. Maybe these white, male faculty have never felt discriminated against by the administration (or department chair) because of their gender or race, but they should consider that there are others who have more crap to deal with because they are not white men.

Then, today Mommy/Prof had a comment on this Chronicle First Person column. I commented over there that "I was at a lunch the other day, when a fellow academic woman noted that she didn't know any female academics with more than two kids."

I just wanted to bring all of these things together because there are some important themes, here.  As I'm sure all of the newer mom blogger-academics can attest- it is really hard having a baby on the tenure track. Now, I can't claim to know this in the same way that these women do, because my daughter was born during my PhD (a week after I defended my dissertation proposal). I had my own struggles with this timing, but I never had to go teach a class when she was a baby, or pump breastmilk in my office, or even put her daycare until she was almost two. I know that many academic fathers are much more involved with their kids than dads a generation ago, but I think that a greater burden still falls on the mothers- especially when they are infants and moms are still nursing.  I can sympathize with the man in the Chronicle column on some level- and he does sound very involved in his family life and taking care of his kids. However, like many male academics, I would bet that his wife still takes on the majority of domestic and childcare duties- and that is fine, if that is the arrangement that they have made as a family- I am NOT criticizing that situation. I just wanted to touch on the idea that women academics with children have different struggles than male academics with children.  Do any of you have experiences with this? Are there any dads that would beg to differ? I am in a dual-academic marriage and know how things are for us (and I am not suggesting they are bad, or anything, btw!), but I would be curious to hear other points of view- especially in view of these links I've posted above.  Have we really made strides in gender equality in academe? I would say "no", but would love to hear from others.

scientiae carnival

On the verge of tenure...

Well, the time has finally arrived. I am going up for tenure. Like now. My final dossier is due to my department promotion and tenure committee this week. My external letters are due back in the next couple of weeks. The semester is about to start. Am I freaking out? Actually, I'm not- and that's the strange thing. I don't mean that I am not worried about making it through the process, but I have a vague feeling of calm because I've already done everything that I can do. It's out of my hands. If I'm not good enough, it's too late to do anything about it now. I feel good about my prospects, though: I have had positive annual reviews. Any requests for additional publications have been met. My teaching is good (good enough, anyway, although I'll never win a teaching award). My service is good. And to top it all off, I just got that grant over the summer- which is totally beyond any requirements for tenure in my department (we have no requirements for external funding). So, that's it, then.

I had always thought that this semester would be stressful, and I guess that waiting to hear will be driving me crazy, but it's not like the rushing around trying to get one more paper published or get that grant proposal written. It will be a semester of waiting to hear if I've passed to the next level in the hierarchy. By Christmas, I will know my fate. If all goes well, I will be the second woman to earn tenure in my department. Ever. I will also no longer be fearful of pissing people off- although I've never let rule my life now (I hope that hasn't been a mistake!) I'll get to move out of the rank of "junior faculty". If I don't make it, I'll be back on the job market. I'm keeping my eyes peeled even now, in case there are Associate jobs that open up- just to keep my options open. I am not assuming anything or taking anything for granted.

So what do I do now? I have classes to plan for, two research projects to get underway. Grad students to recruit. If anything, this is where the pressure will be from. I have research responsibilities like I've never had before and I want to do a good job. I don't want to let people down.

scientiae carnival

Rockin' in the free blogosphere

Seeking Solace nominated me as a:


Here's what she said about me:
Addy N. and I have more in common than many bloggers know. We appreciate the same things, especially a love of the 70's and 80's.

Thanks, SS- I feel the same way about you! So cool.

Now, I have the tough job of picking five more! Here they are:

Elli: I really enjoy reading Elli's blog about her experiences as a graduate student. I think she is much more together than I was when I was in grad school! I think blogging is a great outlet for all of us working our way through research and writing. Keep up the great work, Elli!

Eddie: Eddie writes on a great mix of topics (work, personal, day-to-day interactions with people) and she is funny. She and I are pretty close in terms of career timing (pre-tenure), so it's fun to hear about her experiences at work. She also has plenty of posts about shopping and other fun things.

Twice: I just discovered her blog recently, but it really resonates for me. As an academic mom, she has a special place in my heart, since we have some struggles in common (of course, I don't have twins!) Twice writes about teaching, research, & family- and BALANCE.

ScienceWoman: A new mom who interviewed for jobs with a newborn. She rocks! Her honesty and clarity are really amazing. We women in science have to stick together and support each other and she understands that. I love that she has a superpower, too!

Jane: Another awesome new academic mom! It was fun reading her blog before the baby and now it's great hearing about the trials and tribulations of those early days of motherhood. Cheers to her for keeping things on track with work, while taking care of her new family member.

Bonus Blogger...
Pigs: Another new mom to add to my list! Pigs is a teacher and she is hilarious! Her blog is always entertaining- whether it's about Piglet or dealing with people (like flaky moms).

Thanks to all the women bloggers out there. I think pretty much all of the blogs I read are written by women and most are also academics. It's really wonderful having this virtual support structure- especially when I don't have much support from my own colleagues! Keep up the great blogging, ladies!

Being taken seriously.

I just read Elli's post about wanting to feel like a "real" scientist and it really hit home for me. Her situation is quite different than mine- she is just starting graduate school and I am beginning the process for tenure. However, I still feel that I struggle to be taken seriously and to be seen as a "real" scientist. I am almost 37 years old, yet am frequently mistaken for a graduate student. While, I do enjoy looking young, it can also be a disadvantage.

I was recently introduced to a professor emeritus in another department and he asked "are you a grad student?" My colleague had introduced me as someone he was collaborating with, yet I was still assumed to be a student. At a conference I recently attended, I was mistaken for a grad student by current grad students! The frequency of this misidentification has recently caused me to question other aspects of myself: Do I come across as unprofessional? Does my work seem too basic? I try to convince myself that it's just my "youthful appearance", but can't help but wonder.

The other issue that I face is that I am in a discipline where some people are social scientists and others are natural scientists. While my social science colleagues no doubt see me as a scientist, there are others who do not. My research has always been scientific, but I do occasionally feel like a "second class" scientist.

To address the scientiae carnival theme of "how we are hungry", I'd have to say that I am hungry to be taken seriously: in my discipline, in my university, in my college, and even in my own department. I am in a technical, natural science part of my discipline in a male-dominated department, so this is often a tall order. I have to wonder if things will change when I get tenure? Given the experiences of my female senior colleagues, I have to doubt it. Which brings me to my final point: If I were male, would I have these same problems?



scientiae carnival

Trailer Tuesday

This movie will PISS YOU OFF & make you hate men. Well, some men, anyway. I cannot even imagine living & working under such oppressive conditions- I don't know how they did it.




Another NetFlix selection...

Academic Couples

So we all met our significant others in grad school, right? What a mess we've gotten ourselves into! I know that some of my friends out in the blogosphere are married to or partners of other academics and that some of you are currently dealing with long-distance relationships. Most of the other academic bloggers I read do not have kids- including some of the LD-ers. My husband and I are VERY fortunate to be in tenure-track jobs at the same university (and both on track to get tenure next year). So why in the world did we go on the market this year? And what do the outcomes of these searches mean for our family and careers?

To answer the first question, I will remind everyone that we are an interracial couple (with a biracial child) living in a SMALL TOWN. Our daughter is one of the only non-white kids in her school and, as some of you already know, she's already encountered racism at school. Another issue is that all of my family is about 2000+ miles from here, so we see them about once a year (Almost all of H's family is on another continent). You can see how Small College Town has lost it's appeal over the last few years. So, when we saw several job ads in my Adopted-Home State, we said "what have we got to lose?" Our attitudes have shifted to really wanting to move now, so the results of our interviews are weighing heavy on us (we could hear next week).

However, some unintended issues have come up. My interview #1 has no job for H and I was told they don't really do spousal hiring. This job is a place I've dreamed of working since grad school. H has already said that I should take the offer if I get it and that he would stay here. I am completely opposed to this idea. I just don't know that ANY job is worth splitting up our family (for who knows how long), even if it's in a wonderful place and near my family. At the same time, I shudder at the thought of having to turn it down (IF I do get an offer). What if we stay here for the rest of our careers and regret it? Isn't it worth moving if it means better opportunities for D? At this point, I almost hope that I don't get an offer, because I don't want to make that decision. I can't fault H for not wanting to give up near-tenure and move to an uncertain career future, either. I am pinning all of my hopes on Interview #2 at this point, because H interviewed at the same U! If we could both land jobs there, we'd take it in a minute!

This whole process has been so much more gut-wrenching than I ever imagined. I've got myself so psyched up about leaving, that I haven't been considering what happens if we stay here. Would it be the end of the world? I guess not- we could move closer to Major City and commute (and buy a nice big house that we'd NEVER afford in Adopted-Home State). I guess I need to keep my mind open about everything. I wanted to blog about this to see what other's experiences have been on this issue. It's tough for everyone, I know and I hope those of you currently dealing long-distance relationships don't think I'm a spoiled brat for even trying to get out! I just feel that academic jobs are so permanent once you get tenure (which obviously has its advantages!), and our opportunities to live elsewhere will be very limited after that. What a can of worms we've opened up! Please share your thoughts/experiences- it would be great to hear about how others deal with long-distance relationships.

Tech Tags: scientiae carnival

Some Art Saturday

I saw this photograph on Antiques Roadshow last night (it was DVR'd). I already knew about Alfred Stieglitz and that he photographed Georgia O'Keeffe. These are her hands. I find this appealing on so many levels- especially because my husband said that the first thing he noticed about me was my hands. To see the hands in this photo and know that they painted so many beautiful works is fascinating.

Hands with Thimble

Alfred Stieglitz, 1920
from The Georgia O'Keeffe Foundation

*Live* blogging from campus!

Yes- I'm blogging from campus! Isn't it exciting? I just met with my first lab for my 100-level course (my TA is down there, still). I think it's going OK. I will be checking in on the other labs later this afternoon. My TA is holding up OK- this is her/his first time as a TA, so s/he's struggling to explain some class concepts to the students. Send your good vibes his/her way! While the labs are going on, I will be doing some other exciting things here in my office. What's on the agenda? Reviewing applications for a search we're doing! Preparing for the rest of this week's classes! Drinking decaf coffee (it really doesn't keep you awake, you know?) It's more excitement than I can handle... But- this is live blogging from campus!

f---ing Bush- I just heard a sound byte about his crusade against stem cell research- he was speaking by phone to an anti-abortion rally saying something about 'not taking innocent life for medical research'. It's a bunch of cells! The cells are not even differentiated! The unused (for IV fertilization) frozen embryos are destroyed anyway! There are WAY worse things going in the world! This digression brought to you by live blogging from campus.

My state gets a big F

Apparently it's Blog for Choice Day, so this is my contribution. (read Bardiac's post, too)

Bardiac has a link to NARAL's abortion access report cards for the states. According to that source, 91% of counties in my state have no access to abortion (Dr. Brazen Hussy will be happy to know that her state is even worse!). It knew it was bad, but not that bad. Wow.

One other comment I'll make is that I think men have no right to argue about stopping abortion. When they get a uterus, I'd be happy to hear their opinion. It also drives me CRAZY how militant pro-lifers are ALSO opposed to birth control. You can't have it both ways! Birth control PREVENTS abortion. Duh.