Blogging FAIL.

Well, this has not gone as I'd hoped! I'm already missing days, so maybe a more realistic goal is to blog at least 2/3 of the days this month (or post at least 20 times?). I am really swamped with work and have really been forgetting that I wanted to post! I was also caught up in the election- I even stayed up until 2:00 on Election Night when I had to teach at 8:00 the next day! Last night was recovery time (I slept 10 hours!) and today is grading jail and catching up with other teaching and service (like a manuscript review that is already late!)

Ah, November. I have been enjoying the cooler than usual weather we're having though. It's been below freezing most mornings, then warms up to the 50s. I love having a real fall!! The trees seem like they are bare extra early this year, too (expect for our maple tree in the front yard).

Okay, back to grading jail!!

Failure

I was at a PhD oral exam this morning and the student failed. For the second time.  It's not clear what happens now, but s/he will not be getting a PhD in that program.

I have not served on many PhD committees, because my department does not offer them. I am on several committees in related disciplines, but few of them have gotten this far in the process (a few students dropped out before this stage) and the other one that is further along than this went well.  I would have been okay with passing him/her on my part of the exam, but a few other committee members felt the s/he did not even work to learn the follow-up material for theirs (and I agree).

I feel just terrible about the whole thing and keep wondering what went wrong- should the advisor have held back on the oral exam when the written exams were not stellar? (I think so!) Should this re-take have been postponed to allow more time for the student to prepare? It's not clear. We did not have the student come back in afterwards, but I saw him/her with her/his advisor afterward and gave her/him a hug (I'm the only woman on the committee, by the way). I told her/him to come and see me soon. I want to encourage this student to apply to another PhD program (maybe in my field instead), because s/he is smart and I think s/he could do it. But today is just NOT his/her day. 

Crickets.

Wow. I can't believe that my last post spawned ZERO comments. Either nobody is reading this blog any more or, well, I can't think of another reason. I didn't explicitly mention it, but I feel like a lot of the mistrust of President Obama is based on racism- whether people know it or admit it. I've had so many conservations with H (who is Black) about this and we both come to the same conclusion.

Anyway, it seems that a LOT of bloggers- particularly the science bloggers- have been shutting down their blogs lately. I wanted to let you know (if there is anyone still reading), that I have no such plans. I don't feel obligated to blog over here (so it's not a source of stress), I'm not worried about being outed (I am tenured, after all), and I still love this outlet for writing longer pieces than I can on FB and the fact that it does still give some tiny bit of anonymity compared to FB (as in my relatives don't read this- not to mention about half the people I went to high school with!) I do miss the culture of bloggers from a few years back, but I actually interact with a lot of bloggers on FB now, anyway. If nothing else, I love this space as a personal journal. I sometimes look back through my archives to see what I was worried about or doing during the last few years. That aspect of it makes me want to blog more often, actually. I started a professional blog under my real name (link is on my FB profile), but I only blog there about once a month- and I am VERY careful, since my students and colleagues may read it. I don't blog about ANYTHING personal there at all, but I like it for what it is.

Anyway, maybe people don't feel like talking about politics and that's fine. I just get too much flak over on FB if I post anything about politics, since I have former students and relatives who are conservative- my own mother watches Glenn Beck for pete's sake. I just wonder how many others see this racism creeping into attitudes toward our president...

Change of plans

We are canceling our end-of-summer vacation to visit friends. H is busy with a proposal (then class prep), so we are going to just stay home. I am relieved, since I also have a lot left to do before classes start, but also bummed that we are not getting any more vacation time this summer. :(

Exhaustion

I had really forgotten what sleep-deprivation feels like and really don't enjoy reliving the days of frequently interrupted sleep.* D wakes up every morning when the ibuprofen from the night before has worn off- today it was 5:30 (and I had stayed up past midnight). She seems fine when she is on it, but as soon as it wears off- watch out! We followed up with an orthopedist last Wednesday, who decided that D does not have a chip fracture. He had concerns about her elbow, but didn't give a specific name to her injury. He did want her elbow to be kept immobilized for at least two weeks. They didn't do a full cast, because we have to change her bandages every couple of days. Instead, she has a hard splint with a sling. The last couple of days her pain seems worse, so I called the doctor and am waiting to hear back. I also don't like giving all that ibuprofen every day. The ER doc gave us tylenol with codeine, but it didn't seem to help much, so we've stuck with ibuprofen for now.

H left for Very Distant Country yesterday. I cried at the airport- I couldn't help it. He's been gone for 24 hours and should have arrived about an hour ago- I'm waiting for a call from my mother-in-law to hear that they are all together. 

I went into campus this morning for a meeting, then came home at lunch time and planned to do some things here afterward. Well, I've been far too sleepy to accomplish anything. I tried napping, but my sister-in-law called to see if I had heard from H. It will be time to go pick up D in a little while- I am not letting her ride the bus for the rest of the year, because it's too hard for her to carry her backpack. She will also be missing some walking field trips this week and next. I had signed her up for some week-long summer science camp things, but will likely end up taking her out, since it's hard for her to do anything without her left arm (she's left-handed). I am going to wait until our next doctor visit to decide for sure.

So, I am exhausted today, missing my husband, and worrying about my daughter's arm. At least it's summer. Yippee.

*I know I won't get any sympathy from all the moms of little ones out there!

At least I'm not teaching right now

I can't sleep. D fell off her bike today and got a chip fracture in her elbow. We spent the evening in the ER. I was convinced that it was just a deep, nasty scrape, but the x-rays showed something more. Bummer. They gave us some tylenol with codeine to give her, but I am afraid to- I had a TERRIBLE reaction to codeine when I was younger (dry heaves for 8 hours), so I don't want to risk making her sick on top of everything else. We've settled for ibuprofen for now- I might be willing to give her the other stuff if she has just eaten a meal or something. We're supposed to see an orthopedist tomorrow to follow-up. Right now she just has a sling...

So, I am exhausted, but can't get my brain to shut off. I came downstairs to watch some TV for a while. My almost-16-year-old cat is also on pain meds, since she had three teeth extracted today. That whole thing was dramatic enough, so when D had the bike accident tonight, that was just too much. 

Oh yeah, and H is leaving for Very Distant Country on Monday.

And did I mention that it's D's left elbow (and that she is left-handed?)

Icky Things

I feel like so many people I know are dealing with medical issues right now. 

• H got a phone call from his PhD advisor, Dr. Nice, the other day (he was also on my committee). It turns out he has prostate cancer and will be having surgery in a few weeks. They caught it early, so I guess the outlook is good, but CRAP. I just feel terrible about it- he is SUCH a wonderful person. I hate to hear about anyone having cancer, but it seems even worse for it to be him. I just hope he comes through everything OK- he's in his 50s. 
  
• I am really excited about a PhD committee that I am going to be serving on. The student is in one of my classes this semester and she is just AWESOME- a great student, very nice, really smart, amazing positive attitude about grad school, etc. She went for some medical tests and was sent to a specialist, because there is a chance she could have cancer- if she does, it's kind with a very good cure rate, but again SHIT! Why her? I hope it turns out to be nothing, but I am worried.
• Awesome Female Colleague has been having some mysterious health issues. After lots of tests, she went to the doctor today to be told that nothing is wrong with her. So why is she having these problems? I feel terrible for her- I'm glad nothing is seriously wrong, but having mysterious symptoms with no obvious cause is not good either.
• I can't even put my stupid skin cancer in the same category as these other issues, but I am still having some lingering fear that one (or more) of the excisions will turn out to be melanoma. I think it's unlikely, but until the surgeon tells me otherwise, I can't help but worry. I go for a follow-up on Monday.

I hope everyone is OK!! What a bummer.