Monday, December 28, 2015


Well, I started a new continuation of this neglected space over on tumblr. Stop by and check it out! Here's the about page. I don't plan to remove this blog- I like having the archive over here. Let me know if you're on tumblr, too.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Rambling post, aka 2015 has been a year of struggles

H left for Very Distant Country today, so he's gone for the next four weeks and I'm feeling reflective? Melancholy? I don't know, but I felt like writing something over here.

Even if you know me on other social media, you likely don't know what a rough time I've been having.  I'm pretty sure I have depression (I haven't seen a doctor about it, because... that's another post). I feel so sad and isolated most of the time when I'm at home. I don't get out much since I really only have acquaintances and colleagues- nobody close. I go to lunch, museums, etc. alone near D's school when I get time- and I enjoy that. But when I'm home- I really struggle for something to occupy my time so I don't start feeling so low. D's eating issues have resurfaced and she started meds for anxiety this year. She's still doing great in school and loves being at an arts school, but a lot of things are a struggle for her. She's my whole life right now. I drive her to and from school (two round trips is about four hours every day!), make sure she gets what she needs, etc. She really is my whole purpose in life these days. Other than work. I'm still not ready to go up for promotion like I should be by now. I got a good draft of paper finished during Academic Writing Month, but it's not quite finished. And my co-authors are too busy to help. So maybe I can finish it and submit this winter term (we have a short term between fall and spring).  So, yeah- on the surface my life looks great, but I feel pretty awful most of the time. I'm getting through and hoping that D will be okay when she goes off to college in a couple years. I worry about her so much.

Anyway, if anyone still reads this, hope you're doing well. I haven't kept up with blogs (unless they're on tumblr- I guess I could think about moving this over there... Hmmm... something to think about). Maybe that can be a project for New Year's Eve- when I'm home alone with the cat!

Saturday, February 07, 2015

Catching Up

As you know, I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I haven't been reading blogs either- mostly because I'm not reading content through the blog reading apps these days. I'm more likely to read tumblr or see something Twitter, so I've missed out on happenings on the blogs. I realized it's been almost two years since I posted something over here! Let me catch up with some random bullets:

  • D is in high school now(!) and I drive her to a performing arts school almost an hour away (two rounds trips every day). It is worth it for her to go this school, but also to get out of the local high school here which is 99% white. She loves her new school, but still has the same teen struggles. Her eating disorder never got too serious, but she's still coping with body dysmorphia issues. She's in therapy and it definitely helps.
  • I've been advising students in our major, minor, etc for the past three semesters. I enjoy it, since students stop by to see me and talk about class scheduling, etc. It's a good fit for me since I like talking to people. 
  • I still haven't gone up for promotion. In theory, I could have gone up this year, but I just need some more research productivity to strengthen my record before I can do that. And with my current commuting schedule that is going to be even more challenging than before (I'm in the car 20+ hours a week). I really need to get another grant funded, but I'm sure you know how hard it is to get those things written and submitted- and then they're usually not funded, either. To be honest, I don't even care that much about promotion- other than the salary increase. I'm not a star researcher and never will be and that's fine. I like to have some leisure time in my life. Wow, I am a slacker.
Otherwise, things haven't changed a whole lot around here. We still live in the same house, our newer kitty is hilarious to have around- H even likes her. D is growing up (she'll be 16 this year!) and I'm already thinking about how my schedule will be freed up when she goes to college (without the commuting). Time flies.  I won't make any promises about posting over here, so if I do it can be a little surprise for everyone. 

Student Death

It's been a sad week here in Small College Town.  One of our students was killed last weekend.  She was one of the best students I've had and just a genuinely nice person.  I've been trying to figure out how I wanted to blog about this, and think I don't want to say too much.  Just that this is so tragic and sad. And hit a lot of us at Small College Town U pretty hard.  H, D, and I went to the funeral together, along with several other faculty from my department. The family seemed appreciative that we came.  I just wanted to show support and let them know that we cared about their daughter and will miss her too. I can't imagine what pain they're trying to cope with, losing a child. Something that should really never happen.

I want to catch up a bit about other things in my life, but I'll write a separate post for that. Hope everyone's doing well out in blog land.