Perspective (& non-bullets)

I don't want to say anything specific here, but a blogger friend of mine is having a hellish time right now and I feel absolutely terrible for her. It makes me put my own woes in perspective and realize that I really have nothing to complain about (which I knew anyway). I haven't been depressed all the time- it comes and goes- and I am trying to do something about it by getting plenty of sleep and getting back into regular exercise- which ALWAYS improves my life-outlook. 

We start classes tomorrow and I don't feel ready- another week would have been great, but that's not how the calendar is set up. I have syllabi ready for both classes and know what I am doing tomorrow, but Wednesday is still not prepared. And I have a manuscript review due Thursday. And need to finish some minor revisions of a paper. I just feel like my home office desk is a big mess (because it is) and should probably clear it off today, so that I can feel organized.

We are still progressing with the remodeling stuff, but have hit a snag with... you'll never guess... financing. We don't have enough equity to cover the whole job (which we knew), so we are looking into doing a HUD 207(k) loan. They base your loan amount on the value of the property AFTER the work is done. We have to wait for the contracting bids to come in, then have the appraisal done and see if the math works out. If not, we may do part now and the rest later. The same day we looked into this, we also got the BIG bill from our architect. He had told us an estimated amount for the whole job, but I didn't know we would get one bill that accounted for most of it. And he doesn't take credit cards. Ouch. Between that and knowing that the potential loan requires a down payment, we are feeling quite poor- which is silly given our income. We just don't have thousands of dollars just lying around to cover these things. We'll see what happens, I guess.

Otherwise, 2009 is not great so far, but it's not terrible, either. I spent the first week of the year without my car (the hybrid), because there was a part that needed replacing. They had trouble diagnosing the problem, then needed to order a part AND the tool to replace it. It seems fine now. Then our other car (almost 9 years old, 64,000 miles) needed a new muffler. And anything costing us lots of money right now is not welcome because of the remodeling plans. I'm sure we'll figure it out. 

I haven't written a really thoughtful post in quite a while- I'll have to work on that...

News of my day

So, we're not moving. The other house sold and ours has not, so we are quite content that it just wasn't meant for us to live in a 3000+ square foot house with a lovely screened-in porch, whirlpool TUB, and about 1/2 an acre. Sigh. I'm actually quite relieved, because I was feeling stressed about the prospect of moving and all these showings were definitely getting on my nerves- especially the ones where people come through and say "it's overpriced" (as if this price was kept secret until they saw the house). Or they say "it's too small" when there is nothing in the description to make one think it is a huge house. We had a showing this past Sunday for some people who had seen it the previous Saturday. Their relator told me that they "wanted to see how the sun shines into the house around 5pm- I think it's for their religion". I am so curious about this one- any theories? They are no hurry to buy, so we had to let the other one go and ours is no longer on the market. We could have kept it on and found another one, but we had kind of decided it wasn't worth the trouble. We like our house- we just wish it had a tiny bit more room. We're going back to our plan of finishing the basement and maybe doing some other remodeling to give us some more space. Over all, I'm fine with it.

I also had to go for my annual "women's exam" with the midwife. I know- I was there every frickin' week in April and May, but that one annual test hadn't been done since September, so I was due. It was really depressing to go back there. I told my midwife about the chemical pregnancy and how that was the last straw. She was very nice and seemed understanding. I still feel bitter about the whole thing. I know so few people with only one child that I sometimes don't feel like a real parent having just one child. The truth is, we are happy with our little family and D is just wonderful (and very busy with activities right now!) I don't feel like anything is lacking in my life, but I still know that I was supposed be pregnant right now. Very pregnant- like Amy Poehler (which hit me like a ton of bricks at the end of SNL last week, when I realized that I would have been looking like that by now). I keep hoping that once my due date passes, I'll feel free of this, since I won't be able to say how pregnant I would have been. I realize that I could easily start counting how old the baby might have been, but that seems more abstract to me, so I'm hoping that I won't fall into that. I need to start taking better care of myself- I've been eating too much ice cream and not exercising. That sounds pretty pathetic- it's not like I've been going on drinking binges or anything- it's just not being as healthy as I should be. 

In other news- I am 95% sure that I will show up to my 20-year reunion. It's in November and I'll have to fly out to CA for a short trip and the timing is a pain, but I still hate to miss it. This should all be a big motivation to lose some weight, but I just can't get myself to care. I also have no clue what I will wear- I'll have to buy something, but I just don't dress up like that much and will not be looking very glamorous- that's for sure. At least I feel like I can spend money right now since we no longer have to save for a down payment!

Playing hooky

That's how I felt today. Even though I am certainly not 100% well, I probably could have made it through my day at work. However, I would have been crabby and miserable, so it's probably better that I stayed home. It's the weirdest "cold" I've ever had. My throat has been a bit scratchy, but most of the symptoms are the non-respiratory kind- just feeling really tired and lethargic and super grumpy. My equilibrium is also a bit off. I took a nap this afternoon and have had a headache ever since. At least I missed a meeting and colloquium today! 

I'll have to go back to normal tomorrow, because I need to take D to her first horseback riding lesson, then choir. I also need to do laundry and clean, because we have a showing on Sunday afternoon- it's the same people who saw the house last Saturday. It sounds like they are trying to decide between our house and another one in our neighborhood. I wonder if they'll make us an offer- and if it will be reasonable. We can't really go much below our asking price, because we need enough money to cover fees and make a meager down payment on the other house. We don't have a whole lot of equity because of a home equity loan we took out last summer when our house was valued higher than our current asking price. At least we got our siding put back on the house. We still have that damaged tree in front, but we haven't decided what to do with it yet. I think we'll have to chop it down, but there's no urgency at this point. I guess we'll see... 

Hectic day that had nothing to do with work

Those of you who know me on Facebook, may have followed my saga from yesterday about getting a coffee that was NOT decaf as I ordered last night. I don't drink regular coffee any more (I'll occasionally have soda or iced tea, but not regular coffee drinks). Around 6:30 PM yesterday, I ordered a very yummy decaf  Andes Mint Cooler from Caribou and double-checked when I picked it up. "This is decaf, right" "Yeah." Well, within an hour or so, I was talking a mile a minute and feeling very jittery. Clearly, they did not make me a decaf. The biggest problem with this is that I had to get up early to take D to a doctor's appointment. I couldn't sleep until about 2:00, then got up at 7:00. Thanks a lot, Caribou barista.

At D's appointment, they ended up giving her two booster vaccines and she's been really tired and not hungry all day. Poor thing. On the way home from the appointment, I got a call that someone wanted to show our house today- our first showing yet- so I said sure. This gave us 2.5 hours to mow and trim the lawn (H), vacuum (me), straighten up (me), dust (me), do minor staging, like putting away family pictures (me). We left just before they were supposed to show up, but neither of us had time to shower first. When I got back, I had to leave for a dermatologist appointment (45 minutes from here). I managed to squeeze in a quick shower, then raced over for my annual mole check. This was only my second visit to this office and I had more time to examine the waiting room today. Does anyone else think this is very odd decor for a doctor's office waiting room?

They decided to take a small biopsy from one mole on my stomach, so of course, I broke out in a cold sweat and had to lie down for a while afterward. I hope they don't find anything. It's extremely itchy now and I haven't looked under the bandage yet. D is doing OK here, but not quite herself. I am feeling tired and suspect I'll be in bed early today. Doh! I just realized that I probably shouldn't take a bath tonight- darn!

Talk of the town

Well, we are not the talk of the town, but certainly the neighborhood. The obnoxious neighbors returned on Sunday and called to thank us for taking in the trash can (although I suspect that wasn't the motivation for calling), say they were sorry to see the "for sale" sign in our yard, and (sort of ) invite D over for their daughter's birthday party today (less than 48 hours notice). This was all in a voicemail, since we didn't get the phone in time. I finally talked to her yesterday and of course, she wanted to know about the sign and whatever else I would tell her. "Have you had any lookers yet?" Ugh. I'm also irritated about the birthday thing- I saw other parents dropping off kids and I suspect that they weren't just called on Sunday evening, since they all had gifts. D has a tummy ache thing, so I had a great excuse for her to skip it. I find it so insulting to get that sort of invitation- I'd rather not be invited than to be a last-minute "oh, I guess we better invite them" invite. It's not like our kids are great friends or anything.

We've had lots of inquiries from neighbors about the yard sign and we've reassured them that we did indeed get tenure and are just looking to move to the next neighborhood. It's kind of funny, because we don't really interact with our neighbors that much- just the occasional chat at the mailbox or wave. Yet, they all say that they don't want us to leave. I guess we are good neighbors in that we are quiet, don't have people over or parties, keep our yard in generally good condition, and are friendly. You never know who might move in, I guess! We still haven't even scheduled a showing, so we may not be going anywhere and that's fine, too.

Not too much to say...

... so here are some pictures from my day...

This is what I saw when I got to my office this afternoon:

I'm still not sure what they were doing outside.

My hydrangeas are really doing well this summer:

The pink one never really came back the way this one did. H planted them for me before the frost two years ago (since they were in pots originally). Otherwise, I'm worn out from single-handedly mulching my entire yard yesterday. It's looks very nice now. If any prospective buyers drive by, I think they will be pleased!

It's official...

Our house is for sale. We don't have the yard sign yet, but the we're on Realtor.com (with no pictures yet) and I updated our Zillow listing to "for sale" and posted a dozen pictures. I'm completely exhausted from all of the cleaning and organizing I've been doing. Only our home office is not buyer-ready yet (although there are some closets that need help and the basement is still pretty chaotic). The market is BAD, so I have no idea if we'll even get anyone looking at it soon. I can already tell that I am slipping into major OCD about the house now, though. I feel like I have to wipe the kitchen counter if I see a crumb. I'm getting on D's case about putting things away. It will be nice to have such a clean house all the time, but I may drive everyone insane in the process, too. Wish us luck!!

edited to add: yard sign is up!