Moving!

Well, I started a new continuation of this neglected space over on tumblr. Stop by and check it out! Here's the about page. I don't plan to remove this blog- I like having the archive over here. Let me know if you're on tumblr, too.

Rambling post, aka 2015 has been a year of struggles

H left for Very Distant Country today, so he's gone for the next four weeks and I'm feeling reflective? Melancholy? I don't know, but I felt like writing something over here.

Even if you know me on other social media, you likely don't know what a rough time I've been having.  I'm pretty sure I have depression (I haven't seen a doctor about it, because... that's another post). I feel so sad and isolated most of the time when I'm at home. I don't get out much since I really only have acquaintances and colleagues- nobody close. I go to lunch, museums, etc. alone near D's school when I get time- and I enjoy that. But when I'm home- I really struggle for something to occupy my time so I don't start feeling so low. D's eating issues have resurfaced and she started meds for anxiety this year. She's still doing great in school and loves being at an arts school, but a lot of things are a struggle for her. She's my whole life right now. I drive her to and from school (two round trips is about four hours every day!), make sure she gets what she needs, etc. She really is my whole purpose in life these days. Other than work. I'm still not ready to go up for promotion like I should be by now. I got a good draft of paper finished during Academic Writing Month, but it's not quite finished. And my co-authors are too busy to help. So maybe I can finish it and submit this winter term (we have a short term between fall and spring).  So, yeah- on the surface my life looks great, but I feel pretty awful most of the time. I'm getting through and hoping that D will be okay when she goes off to college in a couple years. I worry about her so much.

Anyway, if anyone still reads this, hope you're doing well. I haven't kept up with blogs (unless they're on tumblr- I guess I could think about moving this over there... Hmmm... something to think about). Maybe that can be a project for New Year's Eve- when I'm home alone with the cat!

Catching Up

As you know, I haven't been keeping up with the blog. I haven't been reading blogs either- mostly because I'm not reading content through the blog reading apps these days. I'm more likely to read tumblr or see something Twitter, so I've missed out on happenings on the blogs. I realized it's been almost two years since I posted something over here! Let me catch up with some random bullets:

• D is in high school now(!) and I drive her to a performing arts school almost an hour away (two rounds trips every day). It is worth it for her to go this school, but also to get out of the local high school here which is 99% white. She loves her new school, but still has the same teen struggles. Her eating disorder never got too serious, but she's still coping with body dysmorphia issues. She's in therapy and it definitely helps.
• I've been advising students in our major, minor, etc for the past three semesters. I enjoy it, since students stop by to see me and talk about class scheduling, etc. It's a good fit for me since I like talking to people. 
• I still haven't gone up for promotion. In theory, I could have gone up this year, but I just need some more research productivity to strengthen my record before I can do that. And with my current commuting schedule that is going to be even more challenging than before (I'm in the car 20+ hours a week). I really need to get another grant funded, but I'm sure you know how hard it is to get those things written and submitted- and then they're usually not funded, either. To be honest, I don't even care that much about promotion- other than the salary increase. I'm not a star researcher and never will be and that's fine. I like to have some leisure time in my life. Wow, I am a slacker.

Otherwise, things haven't changed a whole lot around here. We still live in the same house, our newer kitty is hilarious to have around- H even likes her. D is growing up (she'll be 16 this year!) and I'm already thinking about how my schedule will be freed up when she goes to college (without the commuting). Time flies.  I won't make any promises about posting over here, so if I do it can be a little surprise for everyone. 

Student Death

It's been a sad week here in Small College Town.  One of our students was killed last weekend.  She was one of the best students I've had and just a genuinely nice person.  I've been trying to figure out how I wanted to blog about this, and think I don't want to say too much.  Just that this is so tragic and sad. And hit a lot of us at Small College Town U pretty hard.  H, D, and I went to the funeral together, along with several other faculty from my department. The family seemed appreciative that we came.  I just wanted to show support and let them know that we cared about their daughter and will miss her too. I can't imagine what pain they're trying to cope with, losing a child. Something that should really never happen.

I want to catch up a bit about other things in my life, but I'll write a separate post for that. Hope everyone's doing well out in blog land.

How life is pretty sucky at the moment

Hey, remember me? Well, I think I know a lot of you on Twitter and Facebook these days, so it's not  like I've really been out of touch, right? Well, my semester leave is officially over, but of course it's summer now, so still no teaching for me. I had a fairly productive semester, submitting a big collaborative grant proposal, attending some conferences and meetings, working with grad students- I'm advising four plus serving on other committees, so I was on campus most weeks to meet with students. I still have a PhD exam tomorrow, then that should be all wrapped up. I have a lot more I hope to accomplish this summer- especially since we're not headed to Very Distant Country this year. H will go for his grant, but D and I will stay here. I have a work trip in late July which will be welcome after all that time alone with D (H will be back by then).

However, I'm quite miserable right now. D is being treated for an eating disorder. She had been starving herself during the day, overexercising (which she is still doing), and also does some binging (exercise is her form of purging). Life in our house has been hellish. We have the same conservations/arguments/discussions about food and exercise on a daily basis. D doesn't seem to believe us- she also thinks the counselor, dietitian, and doctors are all in cahoots with me, and everyone in the world is delusional about her appearance and weight but her. Everyone who meets her tells her how beautiful she is, but she thinks she is fat, ugly, and disgusting. I can't tell you how heartbreaking this is as mother. I'm so lucky to have a smart, talented, gorgeous child, but she thinks she is totally worthless. We have never made a big thing about appearance or weight in our family, so she must have headed down this road because of kids at school or media or who knows what. It doesn't help that she is one of the only non-100%-white kids at her school, so she looks different and has a different body type, but she is not overweight and never has been.

I've been told it takes a long time to get over an eating disorder, but I am feeling so hopeless about it right now. She doesn't care about ANYTHING else any more- not her friends, not reading (which she used to LOVE), not school (her grades have dropped this year). I've been trying to get her into some fun summer activities, but she only worries how that will cut into her exercise schedule. And I don't know how I'll keep her from exercising all day long once she's out of school. I have an overwhelming feeling of dread, like there is nothing to look forward to now. Things I love to do- like cooking and baking- make me worry that I'll encourage her binging. Going places or going out to eat are a struggle because she wants to know how many calories are in things and how soon we'll be home so can exercise.

Being away from campus this semester also reminded me that I don't have any close friends any more. I don't know anyone who calls me or that I call or share things with. One of D's friend's moms contacted me recently about the eating disorder since her daughter told her about it. I ran into her at the grocery store and we had a nice talk, but I can't imagine actually calling her just to talk. She's busy with two kids and her work and friends, so who am I to impose on her time? I used to think I had some good friends at work, but I haven't heard a peep from them since I'm not on campus this semester. It's fine really, since I think I shouldn't get so close to people at work who are involved in all the political crap there, anyway. The time that having no close friends becomes a problem is a day like tomorrow. H and I are on a committee together and the exam goes until after it's time to pick up D from school. I don't have anyone I can ask! I've tried arranging rides with a friend but it never seems to work out and we're not on anyone's way home either. I was going to have D ride the bus home, but with her fragile mental state, I don't want her getting off the bus alone. The plan now is for her to stay and wait and school and we'll get there as soon as we can. Sucks.

So comfy on the couch.

The only bright side is that we recently got a new cat after 15 months of being a catless home! She's almost 8 and was at a shelter near here. She's very sweet and much more friendly and outgoing than Green Eyes was. I even think H likes her better- he really didn't want another cat! I need a good blog name for her instead of her actual name.

Anyway, I'll try to blog more this summer. I'll have a research student in again this year and hope to get some research and teaching planning done. March and April were crazy with proposal writing, traveling, and grad students, but now I can't seem to do anything. I need to get organized, make a plan, set goals, and get my shit together. Summer has never been a productive time for me, but every year I try to do better.

Hope everyone out there in blogland is doing well!

I got nothin'

Manuscript reviews, thesis defense(s), grading, teaching, service, meetings, & my addiction to political news means I have nothing much to say this morning. Defense #1 is this morning, then I'll stay on campus all day for another meeting and labs (I usually work at home Tuesday mornings). D has a band concert tonight. H has had a cold, then hurt his back on Saturday and won't go to the doctor- or even my deep tissue massage therapist even though he is still having trouble bending over. Don't worry- I'll do everything around the house because you're too stubborn to get your back fixed! Tomorrow is a very scheduled day (8-5) that includes two phone conferences. At least Thanksgiving is next week- maybe I can catch up!

Blogging FAIL.

Well, this has not gone as I'd hoped! I'm already missing days, so maybe a more realistic goal is to blog at least 2/3 of the days this month (or post at least 20 times?). I am really swamped with work and have really been forgetting that I wanted to post! I was also caught up in the election- I even stayed up until 2:00 on Election Night when I had to teach at 8:00 the next day! Last night was recovery time (I slept 10 hours!) and today is grading jail and catching up with other teaching and service (like a manuscript review that is already late!)

Ah, November. I have been enjoying the cooler than usual weather we're having though. It's been below freezing most mornings, then warms up to the 50s. I love having a real fall!! The trees seem like they are bare extra early this year, too (expect for our maple tree in the front yard).

Okay, back to grading jail!!

Mentoring

I've never really had much formal mentoring and H and I have often leaned on each other for support with professional activities and research since we're in the same field and have similar research interests.  We even went up for tenure together!  I always joked that he should have been an honorary PhD committee member for me since I worked on my dissertation long distance for the last 2.5 years of my PhD.  It was easier to ask him which statistic might work better than trying to reach my advisor. 

We both managed to get through tenure this way with a little guidance from others at times and over the last few years I've started to feel that I can serve as a mentor to colleagues who are just starting the tenure track.  The only issue now is I don't have my own good experiences to draw on to be a good resource to this colleague.  How do I be a good mentor? Did any of you have mentors early in your career? Have you served as a mentor? We're supposed to start having discussions about this in my department, but I think many of us are in the same boat. Please share your thoughts!

Already behind!

It's fitting that I missed yesterday since I feel so scattered and behind in real life right now. It's gotten to a busy time of the semester (only five more weeks!) and I have taken over the class I'm team-teaching. Plus there's more grading right now, I've gotten four manuscript review requests in the last few weeks, AND we had a campaign rally here in Small College Town which took up most of my day yesterday. We got in line around 11:00 and didn't get home until after 3:00- I didn't sit down for the whole four hours and was just wiped out last night. I did work on a lecture late last night, which I finished up today. I started laundry last night, went grocery shopping this morning, cleaned my bathroom... I like to be busy, but really hate being in putting-out-fires mode since I never feel caught up or ahead. I'm also obsessed/preoccupied with the election right now.  So much scary stuff at stake that shouldn't be.

I'll write another more substantive post for today's "official" post and this will just have to count for yesterday.

Planet Earth

NaBloPoMo Prompt from Thursday, November 1, 2012
Tell us your favourite quotation and why. 

“We travel together, passengers on a little spaceship, dependent on its vulnerable reserves of air and soil; all committed for our safety to its security and peace; preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work, and, I will say, the love we give our fragile craft.”  –Adlai E. Stevenson, 1964 

Maybe not my favorite quote (who has just one?), but I've always loved this quote and the idea behind it. I love how it links space exploration (which includes seeing the Earth from outside for the first time when the first Earth-observing satellites were launched and peopled-space missions began in the 1960s) to environmentalism. The idea that stepping away from the Earth makes one realize how fragile, precious, and unique it is.

I have the occasion to use this quote in class soon (it's actually in the textbook) and it reminds me of learning about the environmental movement when I was in college (20+ years ago!)  I wonder if it will strike the same chord with the students- or maybe they've already learned about the "Spaceship Earth" in other classes and won't really think about it. Either way, I've enjoyed re-learning and remembering things from classes I took myself.

NaBloPoMo 2012!

It's November 1st, so what better time for me to get back to this blog? It makes me sad that I've given up blogging. It's been taken over by FB for the most part, but lately I've been using Twitter more (my IRL account- this one has also been neglected!) There are a lot of things I would like to blog about- work, family, life- and I'll be visiting those topics as I get back to blogging and try to step back into being Addy N.

One thing that really makes me want to get back to this space is that it's been almost seven years since I started it- I was just about to begin my first sabbatical/leave semester when I started this blog in December 2005. I was in my fourth year on the tenure track, D was kindergarten (she's now in 7th grade and taller than me- just turned 13!). Next semester is my second sabbatical/leave (finally!) and a lot has happened over those years- a lot of it documented in my posts here. I guess I'm feeling nostalgic that way- and when I realized that today is the start of NaBloPoMo, I decided it was time to come back here.

I hope I'm still in your reader feeds! Leave a comment and let me know if anyone is still reading.

Migraines again

Given all the recent migraines, I've started posting over at Migraine Detective again. I don't know if it will help, but it has been interesting to read my old posts and see if there are any connections. Clearly, this time of year is not good for me! :P

Goodbye, Green Eyes (1993-2012)

In her favorite place. 

The day I've dreaded for years arrived on Valentine's Day. We said goodbye to our sweet lap cat (let's call her Green Eyes), who's been with me since I was 23 and in my second semester of grad school (she was 18.5) Her kidneys had been failing over the last year or so and on Tuesday I decided to take her to the vet. She had pretty much stopped eating and was just fur and bones. We said some goodbyes before the vet took her in back (just to put a catheter in). When she brought her back, she was already unconscious- even before any meds were administered. They put her across my lap (on her favorite blanket- which is in this picture) and we (D was there with me) stroked her fur while the doctor gave her the meds. She was gone immediately. They gave us a lock of her fur (she had the softest fur I've even felt on a cat) to keep and we'll get her ashes back later on.

Since Green Eyes was an only cat, it's been especially difficult to adjust to her absence and I've just been getting by this week. I went in for some essential meetings this morning then came home to rest (missing some other meetings). My stomach has been bothering me, too. I don't want to write about all this sadness, though. I want to write about the years I spent with Green Eyes and think about happy memories of her.

My Life with Green Eyes

I had a bad roommate situation during my first semester of grad school. I had moved in with a former college roommate who happened to be moving to Commuter Party School town at the same time. Things didn't go well, so I started looking at campus housing boards for new roommates. I don't even remember if I got in touch with any others, but in January 1994 I went to visit with some potential roommates at their  apartment. I saw a bunch of canned cat food in the kitchen and excitedly asked "Oh, is there a kitty?!". It turns out that there were two cats- strays that they fed out on the back patio. One of those cats was Green Eyes. 

When I moved in, I found out that Green Eyes had been left behind some other college students in the complex (they couldn't find her the day they were moving or something). They'd had her as a kitten and were a little rough with her- she never did learn to play with her claws in! We continued feeding the cats outside (and the occasional skunk and opossum that showed up) until Green Eyes became pregnant (she had never been spayed). She had six kittens (in one of my roommates bedrooms on her birthday- April 1994) and we kept them until they were old enough to wean. I remember them all ganging up on Green Eyes and knocking her over the eat- poor mom! After we gave them away (I wished later on that we'd kept one of them!) we had Green Eyes spayed and she continued to live with us- inside more than she used to. 

A year later (1995), one of my roommates (let's call her Alice) and I moved out to Beach Town and took Green Eyes with us. That is when she really became more of a pet. She still went outside- we left a window open wide enough for her to get in and out- which led to some interesting things showing up in our apartment: half a dead mouse, a live bird, a hotdog- the neighbor's cat! She used to come and jump up on the hood of my car when I got home from class and meow at me through the windshield. Oh, I guess I hadn't mentioned that she was a very talkative cat. When she was still an outside-only cat at the first apartment, she would jump up and hang from my bedroom window screen (I was on the ground floor) and meow into my room at night! Crazy kitty. She was very playful in those days- we used to throw toys for her back into the living room when we were trying to go to bed at night. Otherwise, Green Eyes would run after us and attack our legs- one time she even jumped up and bit Alice's butt! She also batted a butter biscuit out of Alice's hand one time because she wanted to eat it. 

We lived in that apartment for two years (until 1997)- when I was getting ready to move to Pac-10 U City for PhD and my roommate was getting to move abroad for a year. I was excited that I got to take Green Eyes with me! I had had TWO other cats in college who went with other roommates, so I was happy that I got to keep this one. We drove to Pac-10 U in my car and she meowed the whole way (just one day, thankfully). Poor cat. Green Eyes got to experience thunderstorms for the first time in Pac-10 U City (she was NOT impressed!) and stayed inside most of the time. I was in a big apartment complex, so I didn't feel comfortable letting her come and go. I would let her outside into my small yard when I was home, but mostly she stayed in. One specific memory I have from that apartment is Green Eyes running up and grabbing onto my legs when I was leaning over the bathroom sink- then running off again- it always scared the crap out of me! 

We moved to another apartment the next year (a townhouse which was MUCH quieter!). Green Eyes had a small yard to run around in when I was at home. Her favorite pastime there was to go outside and roll around in the dusty dirt and come back inside all dirty. I have a picture of her covered in dust that I had framed for my brother because he thought it was so funny (he had also moved to Pac-10 U City a year after I did).  It was early 1999 that I started dating H, got pregnant, and all the other upheavals of that year. Green Eyes was with me through it all.  We moved to another place that spring, since I thought I was going to stay in Pac-10 U City for the whole year- I ended up moving to join H in Bible Belt at Christmas instead.  When we started buying baby things, Green Eyes enjoyed trying them out- they were just her size! I remember finding her in the stroller one time.  

During my grad school years, lots of my friends knew Green Eyes. We all cat sat for each other- and I had one friend without pets who would come over to take care of her if we were out of town- we even split up days- one friend would come for a few days, then another for a few days, etc.  They would write these hilarious notes that were supposed to be from Green Eyes about what she did while I was gone. 

In early January 2000, H (who had come home over Xmas), baby D (almost 3 months old), Green Eyes (lightly sedated in her sherpa bag), and I got on a plane for Bible Belt state. We must have been a sight- carrying a baby in a car seat and a cat in a carry-on bag. Green Eyes was actually okay on the flight- she seemed less distressed than being the car- when it was smooth she probably didn't feel like she was moving. We stayed in Bible Belt state for 2.5 more years- until we moved here to Small College Town. Green Eyes was there with us while D was a baby and toddler- we never had any problems were her scratching D- I was also careful to keep them apart and/or supervised, too. Green Eyes even got a little tubby during those years. She didn't go outside any more and maybe I overfed her, but she was fine.

When we moved to Small College Town U in 2002, Green Eyes rode in her sherpa bag below D's feet in the backseat (D was still in a car seat or booster then). It was only a few hours and she survived the journey. We were only in that house for a year before buying this one, so her final house move was in 2003 when we moved to our current house.  She lived her last almost 9 years in this house. I stopped letting her outside when we moved to Bible Belt state, and she was getting a little older so she didn't seem to mind. 

We have a two story house with just the kitchen, living room, and half bath on the main floor. Green Eyes spent 99% of her time there. She was never much for sleeping with me (or us), and she never really wanted to come upstairs. Years after moving in, she would come up to our home office if she knew that I was only one home- or it was very early and I was the only one up. Mostly, she stayed downstairs- her litter box was in the downstairs bathroom, her food in the kitchen, and her bed and/or cat condo in the living room. Anytime you sat on the couch, she was ready to get into your lap and purr. Especially in her later years, she became even more affectionate.  

I miss her terribly ...when I come down in the morning and she isn't there with her little green eyes peeking out of her bed, or to meow a hello to me. ...when I sit on the couch and she isn't there to get into my lap or sit next to me on the couch. ...when she doesn't follow me into kitchen to see if there is something good to eat. I don't know how I'll ever get used to life without her. Writing this helps- we shared such a long time together- it's amazing to think how much my life has changed since I first met her. I was a single, partying, 23-year-old, naive grad student- now I've been a college professor for almost ten years, I'm 41, happily married with a 12-year-old daughter- who grew up with Green Eyes. I feel lucky to have shared these years with such a sweet, funny, special cat. I'm sure this post doesn't do her justice, but I really wanted to share her story.

Warning: Bitching Ahead...

I have some actual topics I want to blog about but this post will probably just be a rant- about a couple of things.  

First, some people at work are really driving me crazy. We have recently made some administrative changes and will soon be hiring a new chair. We are also scheduling Fall classes- and it seems that the committee I serve on should be helping with this. The chair of my committee disagrees, so just shut down all the discussion we'd been having by email. This person pisses me off for several unbloggable reasons (although I'd love to explain what a horrible person he is), so this made it extra annoying. 

Secondly, D was yelled at by a teacher last week (who thought she was 'smirking') and made her CRY. I wanted to intervene, but respected D's wishes to stay out of it. Today, she was still very upset and revealed that she's been having stomach aches (how she responds to stress), so I wrote an email to the school. We'll see what happens. 

Also, my sweet, lovey dovey cat of almost 18.5 years seems to really be on her last legs now. She's had signs of kidney failure over the last couple of years, but has now lost a lot of weight and is not seeming to be doing too well. I'm hoping to let her live out her time here at home and just go naturally- rather than have the vet put her down. She still talks to us a lot, is eating some, and purrs and purrs like crazy when we pet her or sit with her. She doesn't seem to be in pain, but I know her days are numbered. It's breaking my heart because I've spent so many years with her in my life (since January 1994!)

And, we owe about $2000 in taxes. Ugh!! I guess all that summer salary really messed us up. We have since adjusted our W4s, but the damage for 2011 is done. Things are a bit tight right now, but will improve this summer when my students loans are paid off, our car is paid off, and we get some summer salary.

All of these things are really adding to my stress level. I've been sticking with exercising five days a week, but today just did a short walk on the treadmill because I felt so lethargic. Oh- and I had a migraine on Saturday. Arrrggghhh!!

Failure

I was at a PhD oral exam this morning and the student failed. For the second time.  It's not clear what happens now, but s/he will not be getting a PhD in that program.

I have not served on many PhD committees, because my department does not offer them. I am on several committees in related disciplines, but few of them have gotten this far in the process (a few students dropped out before this stage) and the other one that is further along than this went well.  I would have been okay with passing him/her on my part of the exam, but a few other committee members felt the s/he did not even work to learn the follow-up material for theirs (and I agree).

I feel just terrible about the whole thing and keep wondering what went wrong- should the advisor have held back on the oral exam when the written exams were not stellar? (I think so!) Should this re-take have been postponed to allow more time for the student to prepare? It's not clear. We did not have the student come back in afterwards, but I saw him/her with her/his advisor afterward and gave her/him a hug (I'm the only woman on the committee, by the way). I told her/him to come and see me soon. I want to encourage this student to apply to another PhD program (maybe in my field instead), because s/he is smart and I think s/he could do it. But today is just NOT his/her day. 

Monday evening RBOC

Yay! Random bullets!!

• I really need to write this abstract (due tomorrow!) for a regional conference that will be just-up-the-road in late April, but I can't seem to get my act together. I was at work all day (7:15-5:00) and just toasted some pecans for cookies I'm going to make (instead of writing the abstract). H was lovely enough to cook dinner tonight (and wash dishes), so I actually have the energy to make cookies.
• The last few weeks, I've made cookies on the weekend which lasted most of the week, but the brownies I made on Friday(?) are already gone. We've been eating at home and homemade a lot more recently. It's good because it's healthier, saves us money, and makes it easier for me as I get serious about eating vegan. That was my resolution this year- 20 years ago it was to be vegetarian, and I've finally decided to take the next step. I've wanted to do it for years and ate mostly vegan when D couldn't eat dairy (she was lactose intolerant or we thought she was for a few years), but when she started eating it again last year- I did too. And I gained about 10 pounds. I need to lose some weight and want to make a permanent change to my eating habits- because if it's temporary it won't last. For me, removing eggs and dairy eliminates a lot of temptations and foods I should avoid anyway. 3 weeks and counting and I don't miss a thing!
• Teaching two classes is better than teaching three- even when one is at 8am!
• I stayed away from FB today- not for any particular reason- just that I often feel like I waste hours over there (because I do)- just compulsively loading the page for no reason. And nobody has noticed! I've gotten no notifications since I didn't comment or post- it feels so freeing...

Okay, off to make the cookies before I get too tired! I promise I have some ideas for substantive posts in the near future...

Feeling out of whack

We have had a very strange winter around here- no measurable snowfall yet and much of December was in the 40s and 50s. I don't love the frigid weather- or shoveling snow- but it makes me confused about what month it really is. We got our first "wintry mix" last night, which means everything has a thin layer of ice over it this morning. Thankfully, I don't have to drive anywhere until later today.

December and Christmas were also strange for me because H was out of the country for a research trip for almost 4 weeks- he left the first day of finals and didn't get home until the Friday before classes started. D and I stayed here because we didn't want to spend the money to go to my mom's or grandma's (after our international trip in the summer we're feeling pretty strapped). My sister-in-law was supposed to spend the holiday with us, but she ended up heading to Very Distant Country at the last minute (she comes home today, actually).

I'm getting into the swing of the semester but next week will my first week with labs and a full schedule- plus a PhD oral exam, dentist appointment, and other things. I'm hoping to have a relaxing weekend, although I should really do some house cleaning. The mood has not struck me- I'll blame it on the weather.

Time for a change

I have been neglecting this blog like never before and I miss it. I decided to update the theme to one of the newer blogger themes, but also think I'd like to change the name soon. I started blogging when I was an untenured assistant professor (in late 2005)- and just updated the name to include "tenured" when I did get tenure- but that was over three years ago (!) I miss the contacts I made over here, too. I realized I have missed out on some big events in people's lives, because I haven't kept up with reading blogs, either. So here's my plan: I'm going to try (again) to start posting more regularly over here and then I'll see what name seems to fit what I'm doing now. I'm also going to try to keep up with others- it may be time to cull my Reader subscriptions, because it's just too many to read them all. I know that FB has taken over what I used to do here, but it's not the same. I don't write long posts because of the format, so I just stick with the short ones. Those of you who've get up blogging all this time- what are your strategies for keeping it going? I'm sure I still have something to say, but I'm thinking about whether I want to keep this space for day-to-day things or pick a theme and post on that... We shall see!

Poor lonely blog & family drama

Despite my neglect of this blog, I have no plans to shut it down. Just think of it as a special treat when I actually manage to blog over here! Sigh.

I've been having a crazy semester, as usually happens when I teach three classes. I'll talk about that more later, but the thing that brought me over here is something I won't write about on FB. Most of you will recall, that my father disowned me when I married my husband (best summed up here, I think). Apparently that's what racists do when their daughters marry someone with dark skin- and we haven't spoken (or been in any contact ) since then. Last night my cell phone rang and since it was an unfamiliar number, I didn't answer it. A voicemail was left, so I checked it. Imagine my shock when I heard "Hi Addy. This is [my father's name]. Phone number xxx-xxx-xxxx. Give me a call sometime." UUGGGHHHHH! I have no intention of calling him back, since I have nothing to say to him. I am a little curious why he suddenly decided to call, but I also don't care. My brother or sister-in-law must have given him my number and that's fine, but I sure hope people don't start harassing ME about contacting him. I have enough going on in my life that I don't want to deal with this- I also have two other sets of parents (my mom & her husband, plus my stepdad and his wife). I have also really backed off staying in touch with anyone on that side of my family because of recent events. So that was my shock of the year, anyway.

As far as work goes, I am teaching three classes with labs- only the big freshmen class has a TA. I also went to a conference a couple weeks ago- which I loved and am excited to get involved in that group. I need to work on my application for leave and need to talk about plans to going up for full professor (!) in a few years. To be honest, I hadn't given the prospect much thought, but need to have that sort of vision to strengthen my application for leave. Yippee. Did I mention that D starts school before 7:30 this year, so I've been getting up at 5am to exercise before taking her to school?

So that's what's going on here.

P.S. Don't bother leaving a comment if you plan to tell me to contact/reconcile with my father, btw. kthxbai.

We're back!

We've been home for about two weeks from our amazing trip to Very Distant Country and as usual, I'm having trouble getting myself back to work. I have managed to get a little syllabus revision done, but mostly my days have consisted of running errands, going out to eat, and playing Angry Birds. I have a lot to do before classes start in two weeks, but this time of the year is also a chance to get in dentist appointments, doctor's appointments (for all of us), school clothes shopping- since D has been outgrowing her clothes about three months after we buy them (she's almost 5'5" now), and a new routine for us- having her hair braided. She had it done in Very Distant Country, but since the women there are not as accustomed to her half-African hair, they didn't stay in very well. Yesterday, we went to the woman who does my sister-in-law's hair and spent the whole day there. D was in the chair for almost seven hours having her hair braided- it looks amazing and I'm hoping it lasts longer than what we had done in Very Distant Country. It took the entire day, though- we left here at 7:30 am to get my sister-in-law, then head to the other lady's house and got home about 8pm (after going out to dinner). D is vowing not to have it done again- but she said that last time too! We'll see.

I have posted a couple pictures from our trip below (click for larger ones)- those of you who know me on FB have seen these already. It was a great trip and we got to see H's home country and meet more of his aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. The weather was wonderful (July is the coolest month there) and the scenery and wildlife were spectacular. I'm already wondering when we go back- of course, the tickets are outrageously expensive to get there, so we may wait until 2013 to go back.

Enjoying Ocean D and I hadn't seen before.

Turns our Very Distant Country has lots of waterfalls- who knew?

In one of the many national parks.

One of the places we stayed (with hippos and crocodiles!)