T-minus 13 days... Arrgghhh!

I am leaving for a conference/vacation trip on April 9th WITH D in tow (but not H) and a whole lot of things needs to happen before I leave:

• finish lectures for big freshman course (BFC) & teach them
• write study guide for BFC
• write next exam for BFC (based on lectures from above)
• write and revise two labs for BFC
• organize days I am gone with TA, including additional proctor for exam
• finish my conference poster
• have poster printed
• figure out what other class will do in my absence (probably project time and labs)
• plan lecture for first day back for BFC

Gosh- it doesn't look so bad, now that I typed it out (yeah, right!) I have been working the last few weekends (something I try to avoid). D has a girl scout overnight this weekend, so I will have lots of time, but I am definitely feeling some pressure! I was in Capitol City yesterday for a meeting, so I lost my usual work-at-home day, so that doesn't help my stress level. Today I only have one class and no meetings, so hopefully I can get some things done today, too. The meeting in Capitol City was great, actually, because it's an area of work that I've been wanting to get into for several years and was never able to get funding. This is a service task I volunteered for and am excited about being involved. I want to apply for funding in the fall and my involvement with this program should certainly help (and open my eyes to some new things). Since I was up in Capitol City, I made stops at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and Lush- which saves a trip to Major City. I also got over 45 mpg on my trip yesterday (~ 250 miles round trip)- go Civic Hybrid!!

Things are fine, otherwise. I made an RA offer and was declined, so I sent out another that day. I haven't heard back, but the student was at a conference this week, so hopefully s/he will get back to me soon! I better get ready to head to campus...

I may have a problem

As my long-term readers know, I have been a vegetarian for many years. During that time, I have tried to go vegan or mostly vegan many times and always end up not being able to eliminate all eggs and dairy from my diet. For the last few years (since learning that D is lactose intolerant), I have cooked vegan at home 99% of the time and rarely even buy real cheese. We will order pizza sometimes or I'll eat some eggs at IHOP or have cheese on a veggie burger or something. Well, on Friday, H and I stopped in at Costco to get a few things and they were giving out samples of cheese. H suggested we buy some, because whenever I make veggie tacos, he isn't crazy about the non-dairy cheese that we use. 

We bought a block of Cotswold. Oh. My. God. It is sooo tasty and I have found that I can't stop eating it. I made nachos with it the other night. I have been cutting off pieces and eating it. I shredded some onto some leftover vegan chili for lunch. I feel absolutely horrible about eating it, too. I am quite overweight these days (on a mostly vegan diet!), so I shudder to think how huge I would become if I went back to a dairy-laden diet. I also feel bad, because I really don't like the idea of drinking cow's milk, either. I'm a little afraid what H will think when he sees how much of the cheese has been eaten already. It's just good I am going back to work tomorrow and will be away from that evil cheese! Help me!

ETA: I think I have PMS, too... Maybe that could explain my bizarre cheese cravings?!?!

Random bullets of my day off

• We made a Trader Joe's run today. I think it might have been a mistake to buy those dark chocolate mint creams. Mmmm...
• We ate lunch at Cheesecake Factory and it was FREE* because they took too long. We never complained or even asked where our food was, but they knew that it was WAY too long. I brought home a piece of cheesecake for later.
• I spent over $100 at LUSH today, but at least I got 15% off (coupon). I am stocked up on bath bombs, bubble bars, soap, toner, and facial moisturizer. I love LUSH.
• We also got a deal on coffee today at Starbucks. We were supposed to get a discount on our drinks because we bought whole bean coffee, but they ALSO undercharged us (& I didn't notice until we got home!)
• I am trying to be more aware of my driving, because my Civic Hybrid is not getting the mileage it should. Sometimes it's because the tires are a little low, but I think I have just been lazy and letting my lead-foot tendencies take over. I've been getting low 30s which is TERRIBLE for my car. Today I got 46.5 MPG on our whole trip (about 80 miles round trip)! Woo hoo!
• It was a nice day out with H and we got home just before the school bus. I'm having a good spring break!
• Tomorrow will be a (leisurely) working day, then Friday we are goofing off again. 

*We still tipped our server as if we had paid full price. We only had to pay for the cheesecake, though!

Visit to D's class

I had the opportunity to visit D's class for the first time this year. I was in her class once a week last year, because of helping with AR reading, but this year there haven't been many chances to go. Her teacher wanted me to come and talk about something that I teach in my big freshman intro course, so I set up a tour in Google Earth and brought in some maps. It was great fun and the kids asked really funny questions. Most of them had never seen Google Earth before, so they were really impressed. At the end of the time, the teacher let the kids ask me questions. Since they knew that I teach at Small College Town U, some asked me if I knew their parents ("Do you know Deborah who works at SMCU?") and others asked how long I had taught there and how long I would be teaching there and what I teach. It was pretty fun. It was also interesting to see what the kids' level of understanding is on some of these topics. I don't think they have had much exposure to maps and satellite images by this age, so it's all new to them. 

I took a long lunch break when I got home and am just firing up my other computer (PC) to do some research work. I think I will probably take tomorrow off completely (it IS spring break!) I'll see how much I get done today, though. 

10 Years Ago Today

I only have one story when it comes to overcoming challenges in my career, because for the most part, I have been extremely lucky. I don't have tales of long separations from my husband because of the two body problem, because we were only apart for a few months when we were first married. Those times were not easy, but it was short. I have also been lucky to not to be touched by tragedy in my personal life. My story is different, because nothing bad actually happened to me- it was a challenging and tough time, but the outcome was a very good one.

During my second year as a PhD student, I made plans to finish my required coursework, take (& hopefully pass) my written and oral exams and reach the status of ABD. In fact, when I was out for New Year's Eve and it turned 1999, I yelled "This is the year that I will be ABD!" That much was true, but a lot of other things changed in 1999. In 1998, I had worked in a department outside of my own for my research assistantship and had met some new people in that department. One of those people was H. We had talked in the computer lab a few times and agreed that we should go out to lunch some time (with other grad students).

We started dating in early 1999 and on March 8th (10 years ago today!), I found out I was pregnant*. We decided that we should have the baby and H even suggested getting married. When we shared the news with friends and family, everyone was shocked. My mother stopped speaking to me and sent a nasty email accusing me of having unprotected sex. Her reaction seemed more fit for a pregnant 17-year-old than a 28-year-old PhD student, and she even called my dad**, who proceeded to call me and leave a message- which I didn't return for weeks, because I knew he had nothing good to say. Why all the hoopla? Well, maybe I forgot to mention that H is black- and (to make matters worse in their eyes) actually from Africa! What could be more scandalous?! I even had a good friend from high school who told me to be careful because H might just be using me to get citizenship.

Wow. Was I feeling supported by my family! During all of this, I started having morning sickness (at a conference & during my morning classes) and by April I was taking my written exams. Four of the five were take-home-and-write-over-two-days kind of exams and during one of them, H got a tenure track job offer at a U that was almost 2000 miles away. I also threw out my neck at this point and it was excruciatingly painful to even lift my left arm (and no ibuprofen for me, either). Once we settled on H taking the job and me staying behind for the first year so that I could finish my proposal and have this baby, things calmed down a bit. I finally called my dad back, who alternated between telling me that "they're a different breed of people" and "I'm sure they treat their women really well"*** and "you're still in the honeymoon period and not making rational decisions". I was so glad to have that phone call over with. We haven't spoken since.

I passed my writtens, although one was not what the committee member had wanted, and my oral exam was scheduled for early May. I was still hanging in there with my classes and everything and H and I looked for a house to rent for the next year so that we would have more room for the baby. My oral exam lasted three hours and when I finally was told to leave the room, the discussion went on for quite a while. I was later told that one of my committee members said "Addy doesn't seem very excited about her research." He didn't know I was pregnant at the time. The truth is that I was so tired by the end of that oral exam, I just wanted to be finished! I passed, so it was all OK, but had no family members to call and share the good news with. To be fair, my brother was still talking to me, although he was in shock about everything, and my stepdad was always supportive. He told me that my mom would come around- which she eventually did. 

We got married that summer- just a few weeks before H moved to Bible Belt State. My mother-in-law came from Very Distant Country to be at the wedding (at the court house), as did H's brother (who was living in the Midwest), and some of my very excellent friends from Adopted Home State. We had a party/reception at a friend's house and it was very nice. When it came time for H to move across the country, I drove with him in a rented cargo van (I was 6 months pregnant at the time) and flew back alone. Before he left, my stepdad flew in for just one day so that he could meet H. My mom had started speaking to me again and I went for a visit over Labor Day (and she threw a surprise baby shower- the only one I had). 

When D made her appearance (almost three weeks early), H was almost 2000 miles away and he didn't get to meet her until a week later (the same day that he also met my mom, her husband, and my grandma). He likes to tell D that he met at the Circle K, because it was where the airport bus dropped him off and I had brought her with me to pick him up. He was able to stay for 10 days, then went back for about six weeks, and came home at Christmas break- we've been together ever since, since I decided to just move in January instead of staying until May. I was very lucky to get a three year fellowship that started the fall that D was born, so I never worked until I got my job here at Small College Town U. I was able to stay at home with D, while finishing my dissertation. I defended in June 2002 and we moved here in July. 

Now ten years have passed since that fateful day that I went for a follow-up appointment and they thought I should take a pregnancy test. It was surreal when the nurse came back in and told me that it was positive. I was just stunned. Things have worked out amazingly well for us and I consider myself extremely lucky. Even when my family wasn't supporting me, I had H and some wonderful friends (including the three friends who were at D's birth!) to keep me going. 

*We had a contraceptive mishap early on and I had taken the morning after pill, so this came a real shock to us both!
**My parents divorced in 1977 and don't speak to each other.
***Ironic comment coming from someone who was physically abusive to my mother.

scientiae carnival

Another year, another RA offer...

So I emailed one of the prospective graduate students to make an offer. I am so afraid of what happened last year (where a student accepted- filled out paperwork & everything, then backed out in April). This time I have other potential students, but I am just nervous about the whole thing. Then, I am also worried that this student will accept, show up, and be a total disaster. I guess this is always a risk with RAs, but I have so few opportunities to do this, that I want things to go well- especially after this year has essentially been wasted. Ugh.

I must be procrastinating...

... to be blogging again already. I only have one work-at-home day this week, because I have labs this afternoon, but I do get a morning at home. I have had breakfast, taken D to the bus stop, drank decaf, and finalized an exam for tomorrow afternoon. Now I am trying to figure what I should do with my time this morning. I should really get some teaching prep in this week so that I am not stuck with it next week (spring break). I want next week to be all about research- with a day or couple half days of no work. D is still in school next week (her spring break is the week after Easter), so H and I will have time to work and not feel bad for abandoning D to her own devices. OK- I'm going to see what I can accomplish this morning...

New month. Now with more blogging!

I hope, anyway. I really hadn't meant to be so quiet over here. I do place some blame on Facebook, but whenever I go back and read some of my old blog posts, I miss this place. So, I'll use this new month as a good time to get back to blogging. 

Things are just dandy here in Small College Town. We are in our last week before spring break right now and I am so thrilled to have that break from teaching coming my way. My classes aren't too tough, but the big freshmen course is more work than usual since I changed books (and am wondering if that was a good decision or not). I am having stupid annoying discipline issues with them, too. Last spring when I taught this class at 8:00AM, nobody was awake enough to chat with their friends, but at 11:00, they can be a real pain in the ass. Some days, I feel like they are so bored and I wish that I hadn't made participation part of the grade. Then the non-engaged students could just stay away. There's always next semester, I guess. My other class is OK, but it's a technical one (that includes some basic physics), so there are always some students who really just don't get it. It's times like those that I switch back and forth from thinking I am a terrible teacher to thinking that they never do the reading or they are just not up to the task. Sigh. 

Research? What's that? I have not done any research lately and am just thankful to have been on grad committees of students who are publishing and I am a co-author. At least my annual report had three papers in review- two from students. You may remember my RA saga from last spring and fall and how I have a total disaster on my hands? Well, I have told this student that s/he will not be working for me next year and the department has reserved a TA for him/her (which I think is a mistake). I am now in a mess, because we have a TA shortage and I want to offer my RA to a new student. So far, this is on hold, but far from resolved. All year, I keep second guessing myself and thinking that maybe my RA is really OK and can do the work I need. Well, we finally got to some basic tasks and s/he even messed that up. In a way, I am glad, because it shows me that I was not crazy to question his/her abilities, but I am also annoyed that my grant money is being wasted to pay this person for the whole year and I have no way to get out of it until May. Sigh.

Otherwise, H and D are fine. D went for her first sleep over this weekend and had a fun time. She is still loving her riding lessons and doing well with piano and reading at a 7th grade level (she's in 3rd grade) and sold LOTS of girl scout cookies. She seems to have some organizational issues with her school work, but hopefully she can work that out!

To end on a positive note, I was very pleased to have another brief (micro?) blogger meet-up last week. I won't mention who it was, since she has not blogged about this trip, but I will say that it was very good to meet her and I hope that she may even be coming back here soon! (fingers crossed!)