Sunday, April 11, 2010

Another sad anniversary

It's been two years since the miscarriage (can you believe it?). I'm OK with being a mom of one and most of the time I don't think I would want to start all over again with a baby at this point, either. It is really hard to have so many reminders, though. I always seem to know someone who is pregnant (even friends from high school who are as "old" as me), and I have three friends with toddlers that keep the dates fixed in my mind- one friend who had her baby the same day I had the miscarriage, and two other friends who had babies when I was supposed to have mine (they are around 18 months old now). Again, most of the time, I'm fine with it- but other times, I can't bear to look at photos of their kids on FB.

I read my post from last year at this time, and it seems like I'm in a better state of mind now than I was then. I am also getting ready for a conference trip (like I was then), but not stressing out about it in such an extreme way. This time we are driving to a conference (the whole family). I have my talk pretty much ready and am just worrying about getting other things done before we leave later in the week. It should be a good trip (if D feels better- she has a sore throat and I'm starting to suspect it is strep!)

One of the things I've been doing lately instead of blogging, is reading for fun. As I wrote about recently, I read the Harry Potter series. After that, I read His Dark Materials (finished The Amber Spyglass yesterday). I am going to read the short follow-up books to that, but then I need to find something else. I've really been enjoying getting back to reading fiction. It's reduced my TV watching, although I don't usually watch hours of TV, anyway. I've also been working my way through another kind of book. D and I have been enjoying yummy cupcakes on a daily basis and I make a new batch as soon as we finish one. I hope we can cope without them for a few days while we're gone!

We're down to three weeks in the semester (then finals) and I can't wait. I always feel burned out this time of the semester...

7 comments:

Seeking Solace said...

I am s proud of you. You have come a long way. You have a lovely daughter and such a great relationship with her. That is truly something to be proud of.

I am so glad you have such great new activities...but I miss reading your blog!! :)

BTW, check your email b/c my blog went private and I sent you an invite.

Addy N. said...

Thanks, Seeking Solace! I think my attempts at regular exercise and not out-of-control eating are helping with my mental state. I haven't had all the lows I did last semester. I really do want to keep up with the blog, but then I manage to get sidetracked with other things. I'll do my best!! :)

Super Babe said...

I'm with you on the reminders... but thankfully I have you to also remind me that things happen for a reason and there's always something good out of them :)

I'm jealous of all your reading - I'm having a hard time just being focused enough to read (I'm reading Blindness from Saramago to take a break from my Indian-related readings)... thankfully I'm keeping my pregnancy reading to a minimum, so that helps :)

Addy N. said...

Super Babe: I'm so glad that things are going well with your pregnancy! And I'm so sorry that your first one ended the way it did- I'm glad we can bond over our losses, though. Knowing that it happens to others all the time is a little consolation, but having a friend who has been through it makes a huge difference. :)

I picked up Dead Until Dark at the grocery store today, so that's what I'm reading next! I probably *shouldn't* be reading so much and do some research in all my "spare" time! I do feel less guilty about reading fiction than watching TV, though!

Therapeutic Ramblings said...

Reading blog entries from 1,2,3+ years ago has offered great insight into myself. I'm glad you see how far you've come, as we are often the last to notice.

Aurora said...

Oh Addy, always makes me sad when I see this and I always try to write something even though I know no should be saying you shouldn't feel sad. It may help to know it is a common experience.

Karina said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Addy. I can't imagine what that is like. I'm glad you're in a better place with it this year.