New Year's Resolutions

Yes, I know it's August, but what better time to set some resolutions for the academic year?

• I will not let the students in my big first-year course get me down. If they are obnoxious, I will ask them to leave and not get all worked up about it.
• I will do my darnedest to get students to participate in discussion in my upper level courses. And I will try to bite my tongue, so that I don't take over the whole discussion!
• I will keep exercising at least four days a week (ideally five) when classes start. I may have to revert back to my EARLY schedule of yesteryear, but I am going to do it, dammit!
• I will try to have a positive attitude about life in general. This has usually been easy for me, but has seemed harder over the last year or so. I need to shed some cynicism.

These seem pretty attainable, right? I need to be more disciplined about some things, but I think I can do all of these. Monday is the start of the new semester, so we'll see how it goes.

RBOC: Back to school (& blogging) edition

• Today is move-in day at Small College Town U, so I am staying away from campus (as I've done all week, anyway!) D and I usually go shopping on move-in day, but since her tummy is not feeling quite right, we are going tomorrow instead- plus it's supposed to rain off and on all day.
• I feel pretty ready for classes, but need to get research organized. I am VERY excited and optimistic about my new RA for this year. I had met her back in February before offering her the position and thought she would be good. I saw her again this week and am still feeling good about my choice. I only wish I had more than one year of funding left on this grant. She can switch to a teaching assistantship next year if needed (unless I magically get some more money before then). The worst part is that I essentially wasted last year's money on the useless RA (at least s/he is out of my hair now!)
• So I mentioned classes- I've got three of them this semester for the first time since 2006. I've had course releases the last two years (and my first two years here, too) and really enjoyed that! Now I am back to my full load of 3-2 and my 3-course semester HAS to be taught over all five days. I've got labs for my Big Freshmen Course and I can't squeeze everything into just MWF- unless I wanted to teach one of my classes as a once-a-week class. None of my classes are really suited for that, so I am stuck with every day. I will be done at noon every day (other than the day I have all those labs), so that's some consolation.
• D starts next Tuesday and she is also pretty much ready. We don't know which of her friends will be in her class this year- just the ones that won't be! She is not doing girl scouts this year, because our troop leader quit- mainly because of a mother of a girl NOT in our troop making things difficult- such a bummer. She is still doing riding lessons and piano. She did a children's theater workshop last week and LOVED it, so I'll be on the look out for more of those activities for her. I can't believe she'll be in 4th grade (and turning 10 in less than two months!)
• I am hoping to really get myself in gear in this year. I spent way too much time being lazy after tenure, then wallowing in self-pity after the miscarriage (it's been 16 months now) and need to just get back to my life. I am exercising regularly again, and am thinking I might go back on weight watchers (AFTER my birthday in a couple of weeks). I need to lose weight and I don't think exercise alone is going to do it. I think it should fit in well with my plans to be more disciplined about work and everything else. Ugh- I hate dieting, though...
• I would like to be blogging more frequently, too- I'm sure I'll have plenty of things to blog about with my teaching load this semester!

Heart-breaking

As D was eating some dessert tonight, she says, " Mommy, can't I have a sibling?"

I kind of snapped at her, because it's not the first time she's asked me that and I've told her we tried and it didn't work out. This time, I told her that it makes me feel bad when she says that. That I can't just snap my fingers and make it happen. I felt bad to snap at her, but it hurts so much every time she brings it up. I've tried acting nonchalant about it in the past, but this caught me off guard- it just came out of nowhere.  And I was angry. Like I made a conscious decision NOT to have another child (lord knows we gave it our best shot). I was having a nice relaxing evening, but now am feeling depressed. And H is busy working on that proposal, so I'm on my own this evening. Ugh.

Change of plans

We are canceling our end-of-summer vacation to visit friends. H is busy with a proposal (then class prep), so we are going to just stay home. I am relieved, since I also have a lot left to do before classes start, but also bummed that we are not getting any more vacation time this summer. :(