I also had to go for my annual "women's exam" with the midwife. I know- I was there every frickin' week in April and May, but that one annual test hadn't been done since September, so I was due. It was really depressing to go back there. I told my midwife about the chemical pregnancy and how that was the last straw. She was very nice and seemed understanding. I still feel bitter about the whole thing. I know so few people with only one child that I sometimes don't feel like a real parent having just one child. The truth is, we are happy with our little family and D is just wonderful (and very busy with activities right now!) I don't feel like anything is lacking in my life, but I still know that I was supposed be pregnant right now. Very pregnant- like Amy Poehler (which hit me like a ton of bricks at the end of SNL last week, when I realized that I would have been looking like that by now). I keep hoping that once my due date passes, I'll feel free of this, since I won't be able to say how pregnant I would have been. I realize that I could easily start counting how old the baby might have been, but that seems more abstract to me, so I'm hoping that I won't fall into that. I need to start taking better care of myself- I've been eating too much ice cream and not exercising. That sounds pretty pathetic- it's not like I've been going on drinking binges or anything- it's just not being as healthy as I should be.
In other news- I am 95% sure that I will show up to my 20-year reunion. It's in November and I'll have to fly out to CA for a short trip and the timing is a pain, but I still hate to miss it. This should all be a big motivation to lose some weight, but I just can't get myself to care. I also have no clue what I will wear- I'll have to buy something, but I just don't dress up like that much and will not be looking very glamorous- that's for sure. At least I feel like I can spend money right now since we no longer have to save for a down payment!