Thursday, April 17, 2008

Looking for some closure

Yesterday, I packaged up the maternity clothes that I had ordered and put the boxes in the trunk of my car. This morning, I dropped them off at UPS. I also put away some other pregnancy things: the B6 lozenges that I never needed because my morning sickness ended early, the pregnancy information book from the doctor's office, the couple maternity clothes that couldn't be returned, ultrasound picture of the baby at 8 weeks, some morning sickness tea, etc. It's put away in the back of the closet where I won't see it all the time. I was out all day today- starting with my weekly visit to D's class. I went shopping and met my sister-in-law at Cheesecake Factory for lunch (we shared a piece of chocolate coconut cream cheesecake for dessert). I also finally visited the nearest Lush store (I now have two bath bombs to try out once the doctor OKs baths). I wanted to cash in my Talbot's gift card, but their spring clothes were a bit too colorful and pastel for my tastes, so I'm hanging onto it. I used part of my Kohl's card on a new Calphalon stir fry pan and lid. On the way home, I picked up Thai food (which I probably won't even eat until tomorrow, because I'm still full from lunch). I'm feeling a little down, despite the retail therapy. I know it will take time to heal from this. It's been over a week since we got the news. Tomorrow will be one week since the "event". I am looking forward to getting more weeks between me and all of this. 

8 comments:

Seeking Solace said...

I am glad you had a nice day, despite the saddness.

luckybuzz said...

Sorry you're still feeling down. I agree--time will help, but it might take awhile. Sending hugs your way.

science cog said...

I've been reading your posts and just wanted to say I was so sorry to hear that your pregnancy ended. It is a big loss.

Anastasia said...

it sounds like a nice day. time definitely helps. there may still be some lingering hormones as well, which will also get better with time.

MommyProf said...

We don't have Cheesecake Factory here in Mid-Sized City (another reason to move!), but I have to say Chocolate Coconut Cream Cheesecake should not be legal...

Super Babe said...

My "event" was 9 days ago. Funnily enough, today I had to walk in front of the day clinic where I had my "procedure". I stopped and took a picture. I don't know why.

I am glad you're doing better. I am too, doing better, I think, though I have had moments of complete sadness (like... yesterday, when I saw 2 pregnant women smoking and with kids already, I couldn't help but feel resentful and think "they smoke, why can they have a baby and I couldn't?")... but for the most part I am doing better.

The day of my procedure, as soon as we walked in the house, my husband put all the stuff we had (mostly stretch mark lotions, some books, and a maternity bra I had bought... and some baby booties my Mom gave me when I saw her recently, since I would not see her until either later this or next year) in a plastic bag that is on top of a tall bookshelf. It is hard to hide stuff in this "temporary" apartment of ours.

Enjoy your pan, thai food, and weekend.

transientreporter said...

Hang tough, Addy. Semester's almost over.

Addy N. said...

Thanks, everyone. It's been really therapeutic for me to blog about this. I know they recommend writing in a journal as a way to deal with your feelings, but I find my blog serves much the same purpose. It's really nice to get feedback, too (which a journal wouldn't provide). Welcome to any new de-lurkers, too- it's great to hear from you!

Super Babe: I'm sorry you are going through this, too! Hang in there.