Warning: whining ahead...

I'm in a bit of a funk today and even feeling a bit depressed. I've been thinking a lot about the miscarriage, because I told two people about it yesterday. I went to get my hair cut for the first time since March and had to tell my hair stylist- the last time I saw her was when D got her hair cut and we told her the good news that I was pregnant. Then at a party last night, I was talking with a colleague from another department. She asked me if I thought we might have any more kids, and instead of being vague and just saying "no, we're done", I ended up saying "actually, I had a miscarriage in April". I don't know if it's because I'd had a beer, or because I was talking about it earlier in the day, but it just came out. 

I'm feeling OK about things, in general, but it's really hard when I see pregnant women (on TV, in real life- they seem to be everywhere), see all of these people with more than one child- I just feel kind of sick. I feel stupid that I thought I could have another baby. I feel stupid for trying to do it when so many people I know (in real life and through blogging) were already pregnant. I'm so happy for everyone who's just had a baby or counting down the days until it's time, but it's also been overwhelming. My friend from work had a baby the day of my miscarriage. Another work friend had her baby last week. There's been a baby boom around the blogosphere, as well, and it's leaving me feeling... left out? sad? I don't even know how to describe it. It's been two months and I've been OK, but the last couple of days have suddenly been hard. I probably have PMS, too. I haven't been eating very well, I haven't been exercising, so I'm not helping myself out too much that way.

I also woke up with a terrible headache this morning (no- I wasn't hung over- it's my sinuses). I woke up during the night and was to warm, and kept tossing and turning the rest of the night. After I took D to her science camp this morning, I came home and ended up sleeping for another almost two hours! The headache subsided, but it's not completely gone. It sucks, too, because it is just gorgeous outside today (I'm sitting on the porch right now).

I guess I don't really have anything to say- I was reluctant to write this post because so many of you are celebrating new babies and I didn't want to make anyone feel bad- I hope it hasn't had that effect. I also feel like I have no right to complain, since I already have one happy healthy amazing daughter, so I should just shut-up because there are lots of people who don't have any children. I'm sure everything will look fine tomorrow- my funks don't usually last too long. I'm just feeling a bit low today...